v u l v a l i c i o u s
it's a heavy thing, this lock you've got on my heart. i'm breathing hard under the weight of it, ribs grinding together, the crick crack crunch crush, 2 tons of bricks and more smashing down every second.
and my heart is a muscle roughly the size of your fist, the crush of knuckles into my soft underbelly. you're nothing but a sucker punch to the gut, love. my fingers will press into the bruise you left until i'm seeing stars from the ache, and i'll shut my eyes so tight i can feel my heart pounding behind them.
see, my heart wants out, but it can't quite make it. it's pinned underneath the steel beams of your stupid smile, that one you reserve for the times when i've said something terribly clever.
let me explain the anatomy of my heart: it has legs and arms and a smaller heart of its own inside, but that's not enough to fight the crush of your eyes as they slam into mine. steal my breath. make me exhale a last, hard "goddamn," before i give in to being unable to move.
but there's an effervescence to all this, a light-headed bubbling up inside of me every time you lean into me with your full weight. it's a hopeful pressure, acting in counterpoint to the heavy hardness that defines what we're doing here.
my fizzy lifting drink, my orange crush. your solid body flat on mine, that weight a crush that keeps me locked down tight, locked down tight and breathing out, "goddamn, goddamn."