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v u l v a l i c i o u s

2013-05-13 // 11:19 p.m.

i am thinking about the time when i caught a cardinal in my hands, the way its heart pounded so strong beneath fragile bones, and how its wings strained even against the delicate hold of my fingers.

i cupped it, held it, turned, and released it.

the procedure required a plastic bag: i was afraid to touch the thing with bare hands. the bird bit at the plastic with its beak as i looked into its black eyes, and i pulled it up from where it was clutching at the chicken wire with its tiny feet. i pulled it up and held it.

it was all heart and wings and terror.

i am not this bird, but my heart. my heart.

it's faster and more tender than you could know, and it requires a touch that is firm yet delicate, as tender as it is. it's got the potential for being a bloody mess.

it and i await that sickening crunch, bone and feathers and breakage. it never feels far off. not now and not then. not ever.


it comes in waves - 2013-08-02
i love you so clearly - 2013-07-22
your mixtape's a masterpiece - 2013-07-19
adorable - 2013-07-02
adorable - 2013-07-02