v u l v a l i c i o u s
i love you so clearly
i turned up a song i used to know and danced in the kitchen, left hand raised as if it was clasping another, right hand pressed above my hip and reaching to the small of my back.
yes, i pretended i was leading and following all at once. eyes closed and taking small steps, letting the right hand gentle me forward and back and to either side. i switched off, reaching my hand out and up a bit. this time my feet stepping forward and laughing as i bumped into imaginary toes.
you leaned against my neck and whispered along, "the littlest birds sing the prettiest songs" and though i am neither little nor a bird, it felt like you meant it as a way of loving me, so i smiled. i rested my head on your shoulder and let my nose touch your neck. your hair still smells like the bed and soft sweat and tea. you're warm, like always.
spin me out and pull me back in. you turn me so my back is curled into your front and you wrap your arms around me and move. i smile and laugh.
eyes closed, dishes in the sink, alone in the house and missing a ghost who never existed.
don't tell me you're on your way. that you've stopped moving or started. just let's dance. the music so loud over the stereo and we are laughing, laughing. the way your hair feels under my hand. how our palms are damp when we take each others hands and we decide it won't be awkward by crashing into one another.
and i do love you. so dearly. so much. sweet imaginary you.