v u l v a l i c i o u s
From the outside, in; falling or being pushed
I'm not so much upset at the fact that she may still be with her girlfriend as the fact that she has told me repeatedly that she is not. I am, strangely, not a jealous person. I am, however, one who does not appreciate being lied to. I do hold grudges once I have been pushed too far. It's the getting to too far that's hard.
And it's alright that last night I saw my old her and wanted so badly to stick around and talk with her in spite of knowing I had places to go. It's ok that I watched her walk in and then thought of ways to bump into her, talk with her for a moment, ask her to eat with me even if neither of us had the time. Or it's not ok at all, and reminds me that I tend towards obsession, of liking or loving too much.
I would like it very much if everything would arrange itself neatly before me: an orange, split, the sections separated for ease of eating. Juice. The taste of tang and sweet filling me up from the outside in.