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v u l v a l i c i o u s

if you like me
2017-04-05 // 2:16 a.m.

We were riding through Death Valley, the desert starting to spread itself out around us, when you said you maybe liked me.

"I'd have told you a long time ago, but then I wasn't sure and I didn't and it started to feel like it would be weird."

A crush, actually. You told me you might have a crush.

And I don't know what to think. If I should be excited or not. If I feel the same way or not. Mostly I like what we have. I like holding hands and riding in the car, watching rom coms on the couch and talking about how predictable they are but how that's ok.

I like that we go on adventures. That you take me to the ocean or say, "you've never seen _____?! We're going. Next week."

I like you.

But I don't know that I like-like you.

I said we could make out if you ever felt like it. I kept wondering if it would happen. It didn't. That was ok.

Sometimes you kiss someone and know something you didn't before. Sometimes all it takes is a "yes, and" to make some part of you shift inside, open up a gate to a world where you like a person in a different way.

Sometimes there's nothing.

I don't know what this is. How to talk about it. If I can.

For now, I'm tired. I've got time.


possible futures and the unregretable past - 2018-07-30
death season - 2018-04-12
Diagnosis Inconclusive - 2018-02-02
turning into my mother - 2017-06-05
country as fuck - 2017-04-15