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dance cards and walks on the beach
2016-01-24 // 5:03 p.m.

It's almost dark outside, and I've slipped into a sleepy hole inside the empty house that won't let me take the dog out before sunset.

I want to go. Somewhere. I think about taking her to the beach, the mountains, on a meandering walk around the lake. And then I'm sleeping and she's sleeping and I don't notice how dark the house is until it's too late. Even now she's snoring by my feet.

Last night I sent an ok cupid message to someone I thought was cute. I do this not nearly often enough to be considered actually using the service, maybe once every 2-4 months. Possibly less. Last time it resulted in one date and an extended possible blowoff that turned out to be a definite blowoff when it came time to finalize plans for a second date nearly 2 months after the first.

This time I got back the more common response: You seem great, but "my dance card is full." Maybe we can be friends!

A) Where does one get a dance card nowadays? I've always wanted one but have yet to find any. Do you have to make your own?

B) Why dance card instead of saying "I have a lot of dates at the moment" or some such?

C) If you don't have time for dates, how do you have time to put into starting a new friendship (which arguably requires more work than a dating relationship, as there is no sex to fill hang out time with and far less NRE--new relationship energy--to fuel a desire for spending time with one another)?

D) Couldn't you just have not responded?

E) Is this a way to hedge bets, like maybe you think I'm cute, possibly, but you'd rather see me in person to decide for sure, and instead of offering a date it's easier to offer a hangout because then there's no expectation?

F) Circling back to dance cards: how'd you get yours so full? Was it a dating service? Going to parties? Friends of friends? Luck? Actual dances? I'm not asking for a friend, I'm asking for me.

G) It's always a certain masculine of center type that says this, and I wonder why that is. But I only wonder enough to post it here, in the quiet of diaryland while I lie on the couch in the cave of my warm living room.

The sun sets in 14 minutes. I should leave the house, unshowered, in pajama pants and a flannel shirt, and walk the dog. A longer walk than usual, but not long enough.


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