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v u l v a l i c i o u s

And the memory of her sigh, saying "it's over"
2002-10-06 // 6:18 p.m.

Kiss me, please kiss me, but kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation. Oh you know it makes me so angry, because I know that in time I'll only make you cry. This is our last goodbye.

And I don't know why, but that song fits right now. The tempo, the mood, even the sentiment.

Today the city was good to me; she hugged me slightly and let me linger at the door longer than usual. Instead of rushing me out, she asked me to stay, and even offered me coffee. I thanked her with my eyes, and our wordless exchange was perfect.

Well, this is our last embrace. Must I dream and always see your face? Why can't we overcome this wall? Baby, maybe it's just because I didn't know you at all.

And walking home, I had the most beautiful thoughts. I enjoy sexual smiling that escapes passersby. I feel free. I walk with my head up, perhaps cocked to one side. I am lost in thought, and in hot embraces, passionate entwinings. I am lost in some cunt universe that noone else fully experiences.

And the soundtrack, in my mind, was Jeff Buckley and his fabulous cunted voice.

Stillness and unhurried joy. Untethered Cunt. Free.

back-forth

i travel backwards in time, but dream of going forward - 2006-11-21
The Gentrification of a Perfectly Good Cunt - 2006-04-02
apologia, not apology - 2006-03-06
karen carpeter loops and the space time continuum - 2005-12-19
kissing like you mean it, even when you don't necessarily know what "it" is - 2005-04-16