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v u l v a l i c i o u s

In the wide wide open, wide wide open...and she said "She never misses a note"
2002-11-09 // 4:42 p.m.

What do I think when she tells me things between them are over? Little, really, when I always thought of myself as the type to care. I wanted to make a joke, to ask her if they had broken up over me. I refrained, spending my email talking about the most inane things I could think of.

I read too much, I think too much, I can't wait to see you at Christmas.

There is new music in my head that won't leave, and I need to find it somewhere so that it can live in my mind forever. Music is dangerous and beautiful, dark and mysterious and able to light up a room all at once.

Sometimes, I think I am music.

I am bleeding again, but don't feel as grounded. Everything is tinted, faded, half-life, half-light. The color of my room when light comes in through my cheaply made window shades, a pale blue that exists and doesn't all at once.

Sometimes, I think I'm that blue.

Grounding. Holding. Cunt.


i travel backwards in time, but dream of going forward - 2006-11-21
The Gentrification of a Perfectly Good Cunt - 2006-04-02
apologia, not apology - 2006-03-06
karen carpeter loops and the space time continuum - 2005-12-19
kissing like you mean it, even when you don't necessarily know what "it" is - 2005-04-16