v u l v a l i c i o u s Valves 2002-10-29 // 2:56 p.m. She delights and amazes me and makes me want to cut my hair short, but I do not tell her such things. I don't know when I started to realize that honesty could frighten people away, but when I did, it turned my honesty release into a valve system. I turn it to the left and give off a bit of honesty steam, saying "you make me laugh," but close it tight (right) again before I can say "I secretly wish I had known you for years and years, so let's be friends for a long time, ok?" Sometimes I would like to hammer my valve off, so that I didn't have so much control. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I regress, and I relish those times. I read the sex agendas of anat and whip-smart, and it made me think on my own sex agenda. I find it troubling that my first thought for a sex agenda was simply "getting laid." This shows a terrible lack of sexual release; it points to a sad amount of frustration that makes me angry and hungry. Turning the valve, left left loose, of my Cunt. back-forth