v u l v a l i c i o u s Still, not to be repetative, but still still still, things only pretend to change It still feels like my head is forty feet above my body. I still feel like I love her even though I shouldn't and in spite of the fact that it can't be love, because it just can't be. I still feel like I'm not on top of things no matter how many times people tell me otherwise. I still feel guilty for spending time online when I know I should be writing or reading or doing something which is not writing or reading diaries and emails. I still want someone in my bed tonight for just long enough to map their body with my hands and mouth. I still feel like none of the things I've been looking for lately have come to me. Maybe I need to stop looking. Maybe things are always the same, and I'm just now getting the pattern. I still feel like a child right now. |