v u l v a l i c i o u s i'm a witch 2015-09-08 // 3:34 a.m. love spell: one candle, dressed with intentions. i think about them hard as i sprinkle herbs over the top and so much glitter and one piece of crystal. "heartbeat song" starts playing and i know it is a way of adding to my blessing. i'm gonna turn it up-up-up-UP all night long. at home, i light it with special matches and walk through the house with it, speaking aloud: i invite love into my life, i invite love into my heart, i invite love into my room, i invite love into my bed. i repeat this with intimacy and then with sex. i pull tarot to see if there's anything i need to do to help my spell along. the cards seem to say: you are already living an abundant life. keep doing that. so i do. at work the next day i tell a co-worker about my spell. "i'm gonna get a rich tech lesbian who lets me call her daddy," i say, half joking. the candle burns for a day and a half. i keep the jar, because i don't like the idea of throwing it out. so i had my first date in more than a year. first real actual date, anyway, because the people i saw from ok cupid weren't compatible and i either felt like we were friends or nothing at all. this person is already a friend, and we've been meaning to go out for a while. they don't live in town. the date went well. thank god. i invited them into my home, my room, my bed. we made out for a long time and then almost fell asleep before they ended up fucking me. i felt that hazy blissed out sleepy sort of way that i get when i go to sub space. it's not how i normally feel, but it was good. i was worried i'd cry. i am glad i didn't, but i don't think it would've mattered. i fucked them the next day when we were both awake and alive again. a few days later we were talking about daddies. they're the kind of person who's very daddy-like (or mommy-like) but who thinks that people who call themselves daddy probably have more issues than are fun to deal with. for the record: i agree. my daddy kink only extends to people who can appreciate the inherent absurdity of daddies and daddy kink. and this person is not a lesbian, nor are they rich, but they are exactly what is sent to you when you request those things. you said this, but you meant that. they're a tech queer who can travel enough that we'll see each other a little; they're my friend; they'll be tough but they'll make fun of mascs and daddies with me. i'm a fucking witch and i do love spells that work. back-forth