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My Cunt Will Not Bleed
2002-07-16 // 11:57 p.m.

My cunt will not bleed. It will. not. bleed. And this frustrates me beyond belief.

It has bled before, at all the wrong times, but sometimes when I need it, when I most want it to, it simply will not.

Right now, I should be bleeding. I should be strong, with dark red and brown and deep dark depth coming from my body. Instead, I am spotty, with tender breasts, waiting and waiting yet again.

My period has always been sporadic, has been the kind that comes one month for a week and a half and then does not come again until the next season. She has been heavy, but is usually not painful in the least.

It was last year that I began to think of connecting bleeding with power. I had my revelation only a few months ago, standing in my bathroom knowing, knowing that my blood is a source of power. That it roots me to my Self and my Strength, to the earth and to millions upon millions of my foresisters in the past and the present, to everything sacred that I can imagine.

And not bleeding is like not having that power, at least for me, at least right now.

And I want to bleed.

Take no shame in a bloody cunt.

back-forth

i travel backwards in time, but dream of going forward - 2006-11-21
The Gentrification of a Perfectly Good Cunt - 2006-04-02
apologia, not apology - 2006-03-06
karen carpeter loops and the space time continuum - 2005-12-19
kissing like you mean it, even when you don't necessarily know what "it" is - 2005-04-16